Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Chocolates and flowers are being purchased, reservations are being booked, and the addition of some sexy lingerie and champagne is setting the mood for love.
This blog is not going to be about watching your chocolate and wine intake or about showering your friends and significant other with heart-shaped candy and love notes.
This is about the most important love: Self-love. What does self-love have to do with weight loss or life in general?
There are many reasons, and I talk a lot about them in my book. We constantly ask our clients what they like about themselves and how to describe themselves. We ask them to tap into their strengths and leverage them for success. When you focus on the positive aspects of yourself, you increase your chances of changing. It gives you a boost of energy and self-confidence.
If you always focus on the negative, you are blocking this energy. To say “I am too fat, I am ugly, I am a loser, I am not attractive” is just going to keep you where you are, the way you are.
Self-love is a way to look at yourself with kindness and forgiveness. Think about all the love you give to others, compliments you pay, admiration you bestow and friendships you honor. Take all this in a big imaginary ball of energy that you throw around you, forgetting that there must be something left for yourself.
So today I am giving you 5 tips for self-love. It is acceptable, it is necessary, it is healthy. And no, it is not selfish or arrogant to love yourself. Self-love is what sustains your own life.
1 – Take stock of all your precious assets. Ask yourself what you like or love about yourself, and write it down. It can be your skills, talents, physical traits, intellectual power, sense of humor, etc. And please don’t write that you are a good mother. Because again, it is about giving love, to others.
2 – Don’t be a perfectionist. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Don’t be too harsh. If you are a perfectionist, it means you are never good enough for yourself. That was the way I was until I decided enough was enough. Don’t compare yourself to anybody. I don’t like my legs and my neck, and, so be it, I have learned to live with them. I love so many other parts that I don’t care anymore. Nobody is perfect.
3 – Flaunt your assets. Show these legs. Toss this mane of luxurious hair. Pout these lips. Unleash that big laugh of yours. You will be attractive. Once the legs are finally LOVED, you will go to the next step. And maybe it is to get your butt more muscular and wear shorts this summer. You have a gorgeous face but are hiding your body under baggy clothes. Just start losing a few pounds and learn to observe the changes. Buy one new top, one size smaller, that matches your eyes and just wear it. Observe reactions. Take compliments.
4 – Snap out of it. Here comes my tough talk. So, you tell me you are ugly, unhappy, miserable, stressed out and therefore do not have the energy or courage to love yourself? Well, snap out of it! Eating is not going to solve that. Find an activity that funnels this negative energy out of your mind and body.
5 -Create positive pathways in your brain. Not only does it put you in a positive frame of mind, but those happy and positive thoughts create and reinforce happy neuro-pathways in your brain. They make your brain happy. It means the craving for a cookie will lessen. It means these pathways will start to unravel older ingrained negative thoughts. The release of a negative thought is a metaphor for letting go of an extra pound. Exhale the negative thoughts, lose the pounds. Inhale the positive thoughts, lose the pounds. When your brain is happy, it is easier to make a change, to embrace something new. It’s much easier to start to eat more vegetables and cut sugar when you are in a happy mood and see these new ways of eating and living as giving yourself the gift of health.
Your Turn: Your homework this week is to do one daring thing and to see weight loss as a gift of love, for yourself, not for others.
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